Married With Children

The Bundys suddenly have another mouth to feed when Peggy's cousin Zemus and his wife Ida Mae leave behind their 6-year-old son Seven after a quick visit. Peggy, the only one little Seven captivates, sees him as her chance to be a "great mother," or at least try.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Arthur Silver, Ron Leavitt, Michael G. Moye

Kelly's date ditches her, and on her walk home she meets two other women in the same situation and they hatch a revenge plot. Meanwhile, Al and Peggy spend a night in just conversing to find what they have in common.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Ron Leavitt, Ellen L. Fogle, Michael G. Moye

When Peggy discovers that no one knows Seven's birthday, she picks one at random, Al's. He is understandably not pleased when he has lost his birthday to the new kid. Peggy decides to have a small party for Seven's 6th birthday at a local park. But the party fizzles when a snobbish rich parent arrives and declares the park private for his own son's party.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Richard Gurman, Ron Leavitt, Michael G. Moye

When Peggy uses up the monthly mortgage to pay Seven's doctor bill, Al is forced to take a second job bar-tending at a topless bar, but its a male strip club where the bartender and all other men are topless. Al enjoys his job, but when Jefferson covers for Al for one day, he takes Al's job. Meanwhile, Peggy starts banning Kelly and Bud from the house to protect Seven from their germs.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Andrew Smith, Michael G. Moye, Ron Leavitt

The way to a man's heart may be through his stomach, but it's not the heart that's sought by Peggy who's tired of being ignored by Al in the bedroom. So she tries a variety of exciting new outfits in an attempt to whet the appetite of a starving Al. But the only thing Al wants is a cooked steak for dinner.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Ellen L. Fogle, Ron Leavitt, Michael G. Moye

To meet girls, Bud starts his own community college fraternity, "Alpha Gonna Get'Em," with Hindu convenience store clerk Achmed, geek Francis, and retiree Gus as charter (sole) members. But the first toga party, in the Bundy garage, lacks fun and women.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Larry Jacobson, Michael G. Moye, Ron Leavitt

On Election Day, all of the Bundys (minus Seven) hit the voting booths, united to defeat political correctness and a new two cent beer tax. When their causes lose at the polls, the Bundys hit the streets for some good old-fashioned pillaging.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Stacie Lipp, Ron Leavitt, Michael G. Moye

Al decides that another Bundy must get a job and the ax falls on Kelly. This breaks Peggy's heart since no Wanker woman has ever worked before. After taking a job at a greasy spoon diner, Kelly must experience the wonderful world of waitressing prior to her true calling as Kelly Bundy: Philosopher/Waitress.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Amanda Bearse
Writer(s): Gabrielle Topping, Michael G. Moye, Ron Leavitt

When his paycheck is taken by bill collectors, Al decides to do something with his non-life: he enters a shoe selling contest and wins. The prize is a first class ticket to Hawaii which the family turns into four stand-by's. After dumping Seven off with the D'Arcys, the Bundys travel to Chicago's O'Hare Airport where in an surprising twist, Al masquerades as an aging rock star, named 'Axl Bundy' from the group 'Shoes N' Socks' in which they hob-nob into the first class lounge with six famous musicians, Richie Havens, Spencer Davis, John Sebastian, Robby Krieger, Peter Noone, and Mark Lindsay.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Al Aidekman, Ron Leavitt, Michael G. Moye

When Al's favorite movie character dies, Al buys the plot next to him for his own eternal home. But Peggy wants to be buried next to Al and will do anything to spend her life after death with him.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Stacie Lipp, Michael G. Moye, Ron Leavitt

Thanks to a college grant of $25,000, Bud is ready to leave home and start the good life at college, until Al and Peggy discover the money. Being the selfish petty criminals they are, they grant the money for themselves, and go on a wild spending spree in just one day that leaves Bud with zero.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Diane Burroughs, Joey Gutierrez, P. Sharon

In the company of his peers at a bar with other Santas, mall Santa Al recalls Christmases past when he managed to avoid buying gifts for Peggy, Kelly, and Bud by turning them against one other (shown in a pseudo-flashback to 1974). But this year the family shows a united front and give Al the gift of a list of job he must take to get Christmas-gift money. One of the jobs is playing Santa at the mall, which becomes another opportunity for Marcy and Jefferson to taunt and browbeat Al.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Ellen L. Fogle, Michael G. Moye, Ron Leavitt

The Bundys are going to a family wedding for Al's cousin. But Peggy can't decide what to wear, so while she dresses (and redresses) Al waits and daydreams. Meanwhile, Kelly color coordinates with two fellow bridesmaids, deciding that tight black leather is always best, and Bud gets to know the young bride to be much better than he should!

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Arthur Silver, Ron Leavitt, Michael G. Moye

It's no vacation for Al when Peggy and Marcy join him on his winter fishing trip and make him referee to their constant bickering. Meanwhile, Kelly, Bud, and Seven, left behind with no food or money, help Jefferson spend all of Marcy's money.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Sam W. Orender
Writer(s): Michael G. Moye, Ron Leavitt, Larry Jacobson

Working at the diner is getting to Kelly, so she decides to rebel by getting a motorcycle which Peggy deems as too dangerous, until Peggy tries it for herself and gets some good vibrations. But it's Al who really takes to the new bike and imagines himself as an "easy rider,"... at least until an untimely head-on meeting with the Dodge.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Stacie Lipp, Ron Leavitt, Michael G. Moye

Peggy decides to take up a hobby by drawing Al and in so doing, creates her own magazine cartoon of Al makes him famous: the hapless shoe salesman titled "Mr. Empty Pants". Al would prefer the fame to be fleeting, until another magazine (Playgirl) declares him to be a sex symbol.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): George Tricker, Michael G. Moye, Ron Leavitt

After one too many dateless Saturdays, Bud appears on a new TV dating game show called "You Can't Miss" for the less experienced, but not quite with the expected results. Meanwhile, the low IQ Kelly believes that there's a conspiracy to keep her from knowing what day it is.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Amanda Bearse
Writer(s): Joel Valentincic, Scott Zimbler, Ron Leavitt

Peggy narrates her own pirate fantasy to Seven as a bedtime story. In the story, Peggy plays Princess Scarlett. Al is Captain Courage, her pirate captor and Jefferson is Prince Paco, her savior. Rounding out the cast is Bud playing the hunchback first mate Fluvio; Kelly as the dim-witted ship's navigator; Marcy playing the cabin boy/girl; and in a surprise appearance, Marcy's ex-husband Steve Rhoades playing the villainous Rubio the Cruel, who's feared for his terrible singing of show tunes.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Richard Gurman, Michael G. Moye, Ron Leavitt

After Al passes for a senior citizen to get into the movies cheap he worries that he's getting old. He then starts acting old but a senior decathlon brings him back to life.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Stacie Lipp, Ron Leavitt, Michael G. Moye

After Al knocks out and captures a burglar that breaks into his house one night while he's sleeping on the couch after an argument with Peggy, he becomes a neighborhood hero. But the tables soon turn when the burglar sues Al for injuring him and the Bundys must go to court once again.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Amanda Bearse
Writer(s): Larry Jacobson, Michael G. Moye, Ron Leavitt

After Kelly's boyfriend dumps her, Al and the family treat her to the movies where each member has a different agenda.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Ellen L. Fogle, Ron Leavitt, Michael G. Moye

Al's poor bedroom performance makes him the laughingstock of the entire town after another night with Peggy, even though the only person she tells about it is Marcy. Al then decides to get in shape for the real deal to get his self-confidence back.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Stacie Lipp, Michael G. Moye, Ron Leavitt

Al takes a $12,000 offer for early retirement from the shoe store, but Peggy finds the money and spends all of it in one hour by shopping. Al is forced to go back to work where he hears opportunity knocking with a chance to buy a shoe store called "Home Plate Athletic Shoes." Meanwhile, Charlene Tilton visits the Bundy house trying to sell them an "Abdomenizer."

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Kevin Curran, Ron Leavitt, Michael G. Moye

One morning, Al discovers that his Dodge has been stolen. At Jefferson's behest, Al decides to cheat the insurance company and enjoys renting a loaner Lincoln Town Car...Until the police find his beloved heap.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Larry Jacobson, Michael G. Moye, Ron Leavitt

Bud's cousin gets divorced after finding out that his wife did the deed with Bud just before their wedding. Or rather, he doesn't exactly know it was Bud, but he's determined to find out. As Bud waits for the hammer fist to fall he turns to Al, of all people, to discuss the morality of his actions.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Arthur Silver, Ron Leavitt, Michael G. Moye

A rich hot babe from Al's past thinks Al is a disgusting pig. But she likes that in a man. So she offers to buy Al for half a million dollars.

Stars: Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse
Director(s): Gerry Cohen
Writer(s): Arthur Silver, Michael G. Moye, Ron Leavitt