Campus

Reactions from members of staff range from nonchalance to panic when Jonty announces his plans to give Kirke University's bank balance and academic reputation a boost. Jonty, titillated by his mousy Maths Lecturer Imogen Moffat's success, insists all the staff take a leaf out of her best-selling book.

No one's job is safe, it seems. Apart from those whose jobs are safe, of course. Hard work, diligence and not telling whopping great fibs on your CV should see you right. So not looking great for Lazy Prof Matt or Accomms, Officer Nicole.

The arrival of a restructuring guru, in the shapely shape of George Bryan, sends a chill wind up many a Kirke trouser leg. A fully paid-up member of the 'slash and burn' school of downsizing, George appears without heart or soul. In an act of crippling desperation, Jonty enlists Matt's help to 'melt' the Ice Maiden.

Philandering English Professor, Matt Beer, is on a mission to woo icy business consultant George into knee-trembling, resolve-weakening, book-cooking submission. Flatpack embarks on a little wooing of his own, and even Accountant Jason is feeling a certain 'stirring' around gay best friend Nicole.

As George puts the finishing touches to her Final Report, Matt is plunged into total crisis over his recent shenanigans and the thought that he might actually have genuine feelings for another member of the human race. Imogen suffers her own inner turmoil about an ill-advised coupling and only Flat seems perkily sure of what he wants.

The Day of Reckoning. Stomachs and hearts are in knots as George prepares to deliver the bad news. 'The News' however, turns out to be not quite what they anticipated, leaving everyone with a new set of ever more complicated problems to unpick.